Three Days to Hold….

recently, i was able to share a warm conversation over a cup of chamomile and lavender tea with a dear friend of mine. in our conversation, i was able to share my thoughts on whether i would ever change any of my past experiences and adversities due to my disability. thing is, i wouldn’t change anything because i believe that every part of my story has made me the extraordinary rather than ordinary person i am today.

no matter how hard life can get, our stories — the good and bad — all have meaning and a greater purpose. i feel blessed that i get to live this unique life. and while i do not wish to have normal arms or change my circumstances, when i came across Helen Keller’s ”Three Days to See”, this morning, it did make me wonder how i would spend three days with full length arms and hands.

so here is my imagined miracle of three days to hold….

on the first day, i would start my morning by holding my left chest to feel my heartbeat with my own hand and fill my heart with gratitude that God has given me life. next, i’ll run to my family and wrap my whole arms around my husband and children, hold them and caress their hair and let my fingers run through the softness of their hairs while i hug them and then hold their hands tightly so they can know with assurance that my hands will always keep them safe and loved. i think we’ll spend most of the first day holding hands together!

on the second day, i would take the wheel and go for a scenic drive while waving to everyone — like EVERYONE i see (maybe i’ll try the royal wave too). eventually, we would stop by a field or a farm where i can pick beautiful wild flowers and strawberries to our endless delight with my children. i would make flower crowns for them and then just run through the fields with them with flowers and baskets full of strawberries held in our hands. then when it is time for the sun to set, i would head to the beach and join my children in throwing rocks into the water and try to beat their distance of throw. and while the sun goes down, i would reach and hold my husbands face gently in my hands and quietly turn his gaze towards my eyes to say a silent, “i love you.”

on the third day, knowing it would be my last day of having hands, i would wake up to see the sun rise in the morning and raise my hands to see the sunlight shine through my open fingers and try to hold the light in my hands. i would then hold my hands together to pray intently on how i would use these hands for one last time. i think at the end of the day, my hands would have to follow my heart, which would be to be used for good — for God’s glory. so maybe i would use my hands to bake some bread and break bread with my own hands to share with family, friends and some neighbours. then i would ask my children what their last wish would be to spend the last hours of their mamma having hands, grant their wishes and hold their hearts in my hands too and then feel my heartbeat with my right hand one last time. and my heart would still be grateful knowing that i get to hold these moments in my heart forever and that my beautiful story still continues, as long as my heart is beating….

after sharing Helen Keller’s story and writing down my thoughts above, i actually asked my children what they would want to do with me if i had hands, and their responses were as follows:

“play catch, go for a long bike ride and make a hand heart”

but then they reminded me that i’m the best mamma because i can do everything even without arms and i always make them feel loved. the simplicity of their answers showed me that it doesn’t take much to find the beauty of life, it’s sometimes in the most simplest of things. and life is indeed, beautiful.

Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭(NIV)‬‬

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.”

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