so… people who know me well, know fully how i am not the kind of person who feels comfortable being the centre of attention or being in the limelight, which is funny because ever since I have embarked on this painting journey, I have been pushed to step out of my comfort zone completely. This has been equally daunting and exciting all at the same time so you can imagine the sheer amount of adrenaline that passes through my body when I am painting in front of an audience.
Quite simply, I am an introvert and a deep thinker. And because of all my daydreaming and deep thinking (which I really cannot switch off), I spend a lot more time in solitude and isolation and can be easily led to feeling lonely, judged or just feeling like nobody understands me. There are more times when I do not even understand my own self, ha! So for me, I really need to seek prayer when I am about to fall into this downward spiral of doubt.
When I was young, I remember how I used to hide inside my room whenever we had impromptu or unfamiliar guests, in fear of being judged by them or frightening them because of my arms. Sometimes, when the conversations between the guests and my parents would get long, I would wait for hours inside my room, desperate for the bathroom, but more desperate not to reveal myself.
[Please don’t get me wrong, it was not my parents’ fault at all, it was my own preference to stay inside my room. I am pretty sure that I was being really rude not coming out to be social, but my parents wanted to respect whatever made me feel comfortable and safe so they never really forced me to come out of my room.]
So I would stay confined in my room just drawing illustrations and stories from my own imaginative world and I remember how much I loved to read stories from my favourite illustrated Bible. I never had any other big book that was full of so many colourful illustrations of people, children, animals, Egyptians, Romans, heroes, villains, angels and miracles all in one.
Anyway, whenever I found that room of solitude transform into a dark, dark room of loneliness, I recall how I used to just pray or sing, asking for someone to rescue me. And in a strange way, although my childhood memories are slightly fading now, I do remember how I always felt heard and comforted.
Thankfully, I have a close friend who will always come to my rescue and help pull me out of the darkness and back into the light and truth, but this is who I am today – I am an “intentional” dreamer, a visionary and a prayer warrior.
According to the Myers-Briggs personality type test, I am what is called an INFP personality, which is very interesting to read about. Famous INFP people include J. R. R. Tolkien, C. S. Lewis, J. K. Rowling, Princess Diana, Audrey Hepburn, Fred Rogers, William Shakespeare, Helen Keller, etc… this is very encouraging to know and maybe one day I will get to write that book that I have been meaning to write, we’ll have to see!
But in the meantime, I hope to share the visions and stories that are being put on my heart through my art and I am already so blown away by how my art has touched others in a way that has been much bigger than I ever imagined.
Thank you for supporting and encouraging me, i love you all 🙂